For attractive lips, speak words of kindness. For lovely eyes, seek out the good in people. For a slim figure, share your food with the hungry. For beautiful hair, let a child run his/her fingers through it once a day. For poise, walk with the knowledge that you never walk alone. People, even more than things, have to be restored, renewed, revived, reclaimed, and redeemed; never throw out anyone. Remember, if you ever need a helping hand, you will find one at the end of each of your arms. As you grow older, you will discover that you have two hands; one for helping yourself, and the other for helping others. - Audrey Hepburn

Fighting Sexual Violence on Your Campus: Why Your School’s Sexual Assault Policy Matters

This guest post was written by Sarah Martino from Students Active for Ending Rape (SAFER).

Making waves can seem intimidating. Although a lot of students recognize the need for change in regards to sexual assault on the campuses, many don’t know where to start, how to make the biggest difference, or don’t consider themselves to be activists and shy away from getting involved. For the past ten years, Students Active for Ending Rape (SAFER) has been making the case for campus sexual assault policy reform as an important and accessible way for students to change how their schools prevent and respond to sexual violence. We work with students to organize policy reform campaigns on their campus, offering them guidance as they attack the issue at the institutional level and make sustainable change that will help future classes of students.

But let’s back up and talk policies—what’s in them, and why do they need to be changed in the first place? All colleges and universities (who receive federal funding) are required by the Clery Act to have a written policy on sexual misconduct that is available to all students. At SAFER we believe that sexual assault policies should be thorough enough that any student could pick one up and know exactly how a school defines consent and sexual assault; what their options would if they wanted to report an incident of sexual assault; what services would be offered to them and how to access them; and how a disciplinary procedure would work if they chose to pursue one/were accused of sexual misconduct.

Not many schools have policies that live up to our list of what makes a better sexual assault policy, however. Consequently, students don’t receive comprehensive sexual assault prevention education; victims of rape and sexual assault are not given the support they need; and disciplinary procedures are handled poorly by untrained staff, lack due process, and students found responsible for rape aren’t appropriately sanctioned. The Center for Public Integrity’s recent report on campus sexual assault highlighted a lot of these issues, with distressing findings.

I’d like to encourage students, at the very least, to find their school’s sexual assault policy—which should be on the school’s website and/or in the student handbook—and see what’s in it. And then I ask that you take the extra step of becoming part of SAFER and V-Day’s Campus Accountability Project (CAP). The CAP asks students to review their school’s policy using our student review form that asks a series of yes/no/and fill-in questions meant to assess the policy’s strengths and weaknesses. Once submitted, your policy analysis will be reviewed by SAFER staff and included in our Campus Sexual Assault Policies Database, a collection of policies from across the country meant to be a resource for student activists and an important tool for holding school’s accountable for supporting their students and keeping them safe. If you are unhappy with your school’s policy, you can check out our Activist Resource Center for more ideas on how to make change or bring a SAFER training to your campus. (Note: to access the database and resource center, you’ll need to register for our website. But it’s free!)

Your school’s sexual assault policy not only governs how sexual assault is dealt with on campus, it is also the only constant guidance on the issue—students graduate, and even though one year there may be a lot of sexual assault related activism, it might not last, and with each new class comes the need for education and discussion. This is why we place so much value on student activism around policy. You have the opportunity to ensure that future classes of students will enter more supportive and responsive environment. Go for it, and let us know if you need help.

3 years later....

This month marks the three year anniversary of GASA's creation at UC Davis!

Since then so many great things have happened and there will be more to come.

Stay tuned...

Date Rape is a Crime, not an "Incoherent Concept"

This guest post was written by GASA Advisory Board Member Joseph Vess.

Date Rape is a Crime, not an "Incoherent Concept"

American U. article and its media coverage distort, confuse the issue

The recent opinion column in the American University student newspaper and its ensuing media coverage fail to accurately represent the reality of sexual assault on college and university campuses. Rape is not an “incoherent concept” for the estimated one in four college women who will be raped by classmates, boyfriends, friends or dormmates during their college career. Many of the college and university men that Men Can Stop Rape works with in Men Creating Change chapters nationwide are engaged around the issue precisely because they have seen firsthand the devastating effects of sexual assault on women they care about.

Sexual assault is the fault of the perpetrator—no one else. A woman who drinks too much at a party, or goes to a certain party, or goes home with a certain guy is never to blame because that guy made the deliberate choice to rape. Rape is still a felony, and it is never the fault of the survivor. In nearly every state, someone who is intoxicated cannot even legally consent to sex. Blaming women for bringing it on themselves and overblown claims about women who “cry rape” the next morning are time-worn concepts, used the world over to legitimize rape by men who benefit from its impact on women. The line of consent is never blurry, except for those who distort it to condone sexual assault.

Sexual assault prevention efforts must focus on those who commit sexual assault, and the vast majority of those perpetrators are men. They are still a minority among men however, leaving many more men who are opposed to rape, who speak out against it, and who challenge other men to end violence against women. Rather than focus on the tiny percentage of false reports (estimated by credible studies to be between 2-8 percent, similar to other violent crimes), these men focus on the real problem—the millions of women who are our mothers, sisters and daughters; our wives, girlfriends and friends; our classmates, co-workers and fellow service members—who are sexually assaulted every year.

But clearly, not enough men are speaking up as lies, misrepresentations and victim-blaming continue to be the norm in popular coverage of sexual assault. Yesterday, April 1, marked the beginning of Sexual Assault Awareness Month. There is no better time for individuals, especially men, to learn how they can stand up, be strong and take action to prevent sexual violence.

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Men Can Stop Rape’s Men Creating Change program mobilizes college and university men across the United States to challenge sexual assault and other forms of violence against women on their campus and in their community. For more information, please contact Joseph Vess, Director of Training and Technical Assistance, at jvess@mencanstoprape.org or Joe Samalin, Campus Strength Coordinator, at jsamalin@mencanstoprape.org.

Sexual Assault Awareness Month – One Thing Men Can Do

Guest post by Ben Atherton-Zeman. Ben is a feminist, actor and husband living in Maynard, MA in the United States. He is the author of the one-man play, “Voices of Men” and can be reached through his website, http://www.voicesofmen.org/.

April is National Sexual Assault Awareness Month. Every two minutes in the United States, a man rapes a woman – and it’s usually a woman he knows. Those of us who know victim/survivors of sexual violence know the toll it takes on them - yet there continue to be numerous examples in our popular culture of blaming rape victims, glorifying rape culture and apologizing for rapists’ behavior.

This year, Sexual Assault Awareness Month seems to be starting with two such examples. An American University article newspaper column berates women who "cry date rape after you sober up the next morning..." http://www.awolau.org/2010/03/30/why-is-the-eagle-so-hostile-to-feminists/. A video game profiled on CNN puts the gamer in the position of rapist - the gamer gropes, molests and then rapes a teen girl in a subway station in order to win the game: http://www.cnn.com/2010/WORLD/asiapcf/03/30/japan.video.game.rape/index.html.

No, this is not an April Fool’s joke. Anti-rape activists won’t be surprised by these latest examples of rape culture, nor by their tired justifications (“it’s just a game, feminists are anti-sex and have no sense of humor”, etc.). Neither the game nor the victim-blaming column are unique – both basically are a restating of traditional misogyny and male supremacist beliefs.

What is exciting to me is the immediate, almost universal anger and condemnation of both by the online feminist community. Videos can go “viral” and so can activism – Facebook status updates and emails from across the world are condemning both. Women are writing with boldness and outrage – men are writing that this is not just a “woman’s issue,” calling for men of conscience to speak out against rape and rape culture. And even though the CNN article states that it’s only “women’s groups” that oppose the rape game, it turns out that men are (finally) speaking out in greater numbers – speaking out against rape and rape culture.

One example is the new Facebook group, “Ten Thousand Men Supporting Women’s Anti-Violence Groups.” Inspired by Pat Eng of the Ms. Foundation for Women, this Facebook group encourages men to donate money or time to their local rape crisis center, domestic violence program, or national anti-violence group.

Ms. Eng delivered a keynote address at the first National Conference for Men’s Anti-Sexist Groups last year – during her keynote, she encouraged male aspiring allies to “show, not tell” their commitment to ending gender-based violence by making a financial donation to such groups. Most of these groups, Eng argued, are facing budgetary emergencies because of the economy – men can help by making a simple donation. The concept made sense to some male attendees, who contacted Eng and started the group. So far, it has just over 1000 members, at least some of whom have made donations to both their local groups and the Ms. Foundation.

My friend Matt belongs to our Boston chapter of the National Organization for Men Against Sexism http://www.nomasboston.org/. He told me, “if women make 78 cents to every man’s dollar, shouldn’t we men tithe 22 cents for every dollar we make?” Agreed – and what better place to send that money than our local rape crisis center!

Another good reason for men to donate is the fact that most rapists are men. But most men are not rapists - those of us who oppose rape and rape culture can no longer remain silent. And money, even a small donation, is a wonderful way for us to support our local rape crisis center.

Facebook users of all genders are encouraged to join the Ten Thousand Men group at http://www.causes.com/tenkmen. Then invite your Facebook friends – specifically, those male friends who don’t normally do this kind of work. Even if they can give $5 or $10, it helps – and it may be the first step in what becomes a lifetime involvement.

Outrage and organizing against sexism and rape culture is also not new – whether face to face or on the Internet. But I’m impressed and hopeful about the use of the Internet and social networking to organize an articulate response to these latest outrages. Perhaps if people of all genders raise our voices in this manner, some day rape will not happen every two minutes – it’ll happen hardly at all.

“I believe in pink, I believe that laughing is the best calorie burner. I believe in kissing, kissing a lot. I believe in being strong when everything seems to be going wrong. I believe that happy girls are the prettiest girls. I believe that tomorrow is another day, and I believe in miracles.” — Audrey Hepburn

Here's the interview I had with Chick Speak!

Battling Sexual Assault: Spotlight on Kingsley Grafft, GASA Founder

March 4, 2010 by Lindsay Tigar

She was eighteen and accepted into the college she always wanted to attend. She arrived on campus as a bright-eyed-and-bushy-tailed freshman, ready to embark on a new journey and start a new adult life.

But something was off.

She didn’t fit in. She didn’t feel like she could make friends. She felt alone and trapped. She didn’t like her classes, her roommate was difficult to get along with, and she felt like she had made a huge mistake in choosing a college. In a desperate attempt to make friends, she traveled to a different university nearby to visit a high school friend.

After a few drinks, she joined her friend at a fraternity party where she was greeted with a warm welcome, and more alcohol then she had ever imagined. After guzzling down a few more cheap-labeled beers, making chit-chat and new friends, things started to become hazy. She vaguely remembers being led up a flight of stairs, but her memory goes blank in an instant.

The next morning, she woke up next to a naked man she didn’t know who he was; she was without panties and without a recollection of what happened the night before. With tears and fear both streaming inside and outside her body, she made her way back to her friend’s dorm room. Back to a friend who left her at the party with a man she doesn’t even remember his name.

She would later visit the emergency room without her family’s support, end a relationship with a boyfriend who promised to stand by her side through anything, and switch schools to get away from panic attacks and uncomfortable confrontations.

Her whole life changed in an evening.

What happened to one of my closest friends is not uncommon. In fact, it happens all the time and especially on college campuses. While it’s terribly sad, sexual assault and rape statistics are only growing, and women are primarily the victims.

Efforts to end sexual assault crimes are however, on an upward trend. Organizations like Greeks Against Sexual Assault (GASA) are trying to raise awareness and help women to become more educated on what sexual assault is and how they can prevent it from happening to them or to someone they love.

Kingsley Grafft, founder of GASA, took some time to sit down with ChickSpeak and share some valuable insight into what sexual assault is, how to team up with GASA and how to protect yourself and every chick you know:

ChickSpeak: What is Greeks Against Sexual Assault (GASA)?

Kingsley Grafft: Greeks Against Sexual Assault is a national organization that words towards increasing awareness, educating, and eliminating sexual assault and dating violence from the Greek community through peer education and activism amongst sororities and fraternities.

CS: Where did you come up with idea and inspiration for GASA?

KG: As an intern with the University of California, Davis’ Campus Violence Prevention Program in the spring of 2007 I was given one task: find a way to get sororities and fraternities involved with sexual assault and domestic violence prevention on campus.

One thing led to another and I came up with the idea of GASA as a quarter long class. After doing some research I found that Colorado State University had a similar program and contacted them for more information. In the fall of 2007, GASA was taught for the first time and was a huge success. Things seemed to just spiraled from there and eventually I was able to transform GASA into a national organization with the help of some amazing individuals.

CS: What are the top three things college women should be aware of about sexual assault?

KG: 1. It can happen to anyone and if it happens to you it is never your fault. Be compassionate to the survivors you know.
2. College women are most likely to be assaulted by someone they know.
3. Always look out for your friends. You will never regret or think ‘what if’ after speaking up if you see a potentially dangerous situation.

CS: What is your goal with GASA?

KG: My goal with GASA continues to be to educate and provide resources to as many people as possible. If I can make a positive impact in the life of one other person, then GASA will have been a success.

CS: How can college women become involved with GASA?

KG: If college students are interested in becoming involved with GASA they can visit our website. There they will find our syllabus and curriculum. Also, on our website are a variety of options for how to create GASA on their individual campuses.

CS: How can young women personally raise awareness about sexual assault?

KG: Speak up. Talk about the issue with your friends, talk about what it means to have a healthy relationship. Rape and sexual assault are such depressing issues and too often people avoid bringing them up in conversation.

But, in order to eliminate these problems we have to speak up. Talk to your parents, siblings, classmates, friends, sorority sisters, fraternity brothers, girlfriends, boyfriends, professors, and anyone else who will listen. This issue has impacted so many people on a variety of levels. By speaking about the issue we can work together to raise awareness and come up with innovative prevention techniques.

While speaking up, we can also learn to be excellent listeners. Sometimes people just want someone to listen while they tell their own story. As listeners, it is important to remember that we do not have to have all the answers, but it is our responsibility to help that person find the resources he or she needs.

CS: Where do you see yourself in ten years?

KG: Over the next several years I hope to become a middle school or high school English teacher in California. Eventually I want to get married and have a family of my own. GASA will continue to exist as long as it is making a positive difference and people are benefiting from the organization. Where GASA will go, and how it will continue to grow is still up in the air.

CS: What other organizations do you work with to help with sexual assault awareness?

KG: The members of my Advisory Board are involved with a variety of companies, organizations, and universities. We all work together to promote sexual assault awareness. While I was in middle school and high school, and since I’ve been home from college I’ve been volunteering with STAND! Against Domestic Violence in Northern California.

CS: At ChickSpeak, we’re always looking for new music and movies to fall in love with. What books can’t you put down right now? What’s the last song you downloaded on iTunes?

KG: I love Jodi Picoult books and cannot wait for her new book to be released in March! And I just downloaded Breakeven by The Script.

Lindsay Tigar is the Editor-at-Large for ChickSpeak and hopes every chick will all she can do to raise awareness and protect herself and other chicks against sexual assault.