Would Your Rape Count?

Borrowed from the Public Insight Network...

"Each year, tens of thousands of rapes occur in the U.S. each year that are never counted by the FBI's yearly crime report. There are many reasons rapes go unrecorded. Sometimes survivors are actively discouraged from reporting--even by authorities who should know better, such as police or college administrators. Some cases are excluded by the FBI's narrow "forcible rape," which doesn't include male victims, anal or oral rape.

Furthermore, women frequently don't recognize that they were raped, often because of societal messages that say that only a very specific, and rare, type of scenario constitutes rape."

Read more here...

AAUW Action Network

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At their best, institutions of higher education are academic oases where the collective contributions of students, professors, and administrators support a healthy community aimed at the pursuit of knowledge. Students (and their parents) invest in higher education because they know college is a well-trodden and successful path to a meaningful career. For women, access to educational opportunities helps lead to financial security and economic independence.
Yet college can only be these things if it is a safe environment. Far too often, college women are the target of sexual violence or assault that shakes or shatters their college experience in a profound way.

A 2007 campus sexual-assault study by the U.S. Department of Justice found that around 28 percent of women are targets of attempted or completed sexual assault while they are college students. The Rape, Abuse, and Incest National Network (RAINN) reports that college-age women are four times more likely than any other age group to face sexual assault. There is an epidemic of sexual violence on campuses, and we must take steps to stop it.

The Campus Sexual Violence Elimination (SaVE) Act (S. 834) would help to end sexual assault and violence on campus by requiring schools to spell out their policies, conduct prevention activities, and ensure necessary assistance for victims. It would constitute a step toward ending the sort of violence which prevents women from attaining their educational dreams.
Ask your senators to cosponsor and support this important piece of legislation!

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Image from Glamour.

A Letter from a Prosecutor to a Young Woman

***This article was originally published here***

A Letter from a Prosecutor to a Young Woman

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Dear Elizabeth:

I don’t see what more you could have done.

As you well know, reporting sexual assault is a remarkably difficult act. It is deeply emotional, terrifying for many reasons, unpredictable and often thankless. You may not have known while you were alive that the great majority of sexual violence is simply never reported to authorities. But you did report it, quickly and comprehensively. I’m in awe of your courage.

I can only imagine how difficult it was for you in particular, Lizzy. You were a 19 year-old college freshman who had struggled with depression; a lovely young woman who had just started studies again after a difficult first year. But you made it to St. Mary’s, an excellent, close-knit school and one situated along with Notre Dame in the heartland of Catholic education. Arriving in this environment from a strong Catholic background must have been an incredible and hard-won joy for you.

But I’m sure it also made it infinitely more difficult to come forward and report what happened on the night of August 31. Being sexually assaulted at a place like Notre Dame and by a member of its football team- the very beating heart of the school for many- is an act that would have silenced most. Few things are more difficult to come to terms with than being attacked in a dorm room by a football player on one of the most venerated sports campuses in the world. The idea of telling anyone must have been horrific, especially as you were just settling into a new school, a new semester, a new season of hope. I’ve spent a career learning how hopes like that can be destroyed in the space of moments, and it never gets easier to hear.

Still, you faced down your fears and took action. You told your friends and wrote down what happened that very night. You went to campus police the next day. Despite the fear of being portrayed as God-knows-what and the fury that might rain down on you for reporting against a football player, you reported anyway. Despite the discomfort of an invasive physical examination, you endured one. Despite the fear and exhaustion that comes with entering counseling in order to fully recover from such an attack, you did that, too. You did everything that could possibly have been asked of you.

That’s why I’m trying to understand why Notre Dame, the world-class, excellent institution where you were attacked, has reacted the way it has. I don’t know why campus police didn’t turn over a case file to the St. Joseph’s County prosecutor’s office until just several days ago- after your case became national news and your hometown paper began demanding answers. Nor do I understand what’s behind the school’s refusal to release police records regarding what they know about what happened to you- even to your parents.

Finally, and most disturbingly, I don’t know why the man you reported against has played an entire season of football. While it’s true that he is and should be considered innocent until proven otherwise, his privilege to play football isn’t in any way related to his legal rights as a citizen. The fact is, you reported swiftly and completely a serious crime to the proper authorities that control his ability to play, and you followed through with evidence collection, counseling and cooperation. Yet still they have chosen to refuse to even acknowledge your complaint, let alone bar him from playing at least until the investigation is completed. This despite your death. Coach Kelly won’t state whether he’s even spoken to the player you identified. He’s quick to remind us that he stresses respect for women in his program, is a father himself, and wants “the right kind of guys” on his team. Well, the player hasn’t been benched in three months; from this we can fairly deduce that Coach Kelly supports him as someone who is “the right kind of guy” and worthy of wearing the uniform. If that’s so, why won’t he give his reasons?

The sad fact is there’s an ocean of ignorance out there regarding what happened to you, Lizzy. Many who are watching the case unfold are repeating over and over again the meaningless mantra that that we must all “Remember Duke Lacrosse.” It’s because many believe, with nothing to back it up, that women regularly accuse men falsely of sexual assault, and especially athletes. They’re happy to extrapolate one example of a false accusation to every possible situation, despite the mountain of evidence suggesting that women just like you endure what you endured day in and day out, usually in numbed silence.

Even worse, some just don’t think that sexual assault is nearly as important as college athletics, and they’ll sacrifice the vindication of a budding, brilliant life like yours in a flurry of nonsense that will trivialize your suffering and ruthlessly twist reality. They’ll call it regret. They’ll call it a misunderstanding. They’ll call it anything but what it is, and they’ll ensconce and defend the man who did it so he can simply do it again. So even the prompt, thorough complaint you made and the investigation you participated in until your death wasn’t enough to bench a football player for a few games until some evidence came to light, one way or another.

But as you know, there are also wonderful people both at Notre Dame and at St. Mary’s. Both are beloved, respected schools for a reason, and I know you felt and still feel that. To the heroic staff from St. Mary’s Belles Against Violence who worked with you and actually found you before you died, I hope you smile on them from where you are and bless their work.

I believe in a loving God, Lizzy. Although I’m a Catholic as you are I don’t believe He punishes those tortured enough to take their own lives, and I’m confident that you’ve reached a plane of existence that will give you not only blessed relief but also infinite understanding. So I guess this letter is more for me than for you; you have the answers now.

Still, I’m sorry. I’m sorry I didn’t know you in this life, and for what it’s worth l would have been honored to work with you to see the case against your attacker proven. I would have had much to go on, given the dedication you showed to pursuing justice and the courage you summoned to do what most of us wouldn’t have dared. Thank you.

Roger

© 2010, Roger Canaff. All rights reserved.

Minimize, Deny, and Blame

This post was originally written by Ashley in Media published on the SAFER blog...but it was so good we decided to repost it here!

I worked for a year as the facilitator of a group intended to create a sense of accountability in guys who had abused their partners. We talked about a lot of things with the men: male privilege, the importance of consent in sexual relationships, and the definition of abuse among them. But more than probably anything else, we talked about the universal trinity of rationalizations for abusive behavior. Any abuser will use these three behaviors in some combination. The behaviors are: minimizing, denial, and blame. So, we would begin every group by going around the room and asking the guys to describe how they had come to be court ordered to attend the group. They would tell their stories, which would go something like this: “What I did wasn’t really that bad, and I didn’t do it. Besides, she asked for it.” With luck, by the end of their sessions with us, they could describe what they did more accurately, and take responsibility for their behavior. Every time one of the guys tried to minimize or deny his abusiveness, or claim that he was provoked into it by either his partner or some combination of outside influences beyond his control, we would call him out on what he was doing and ask him to correct his statement.

When I hear the song “Love The Way You Lie,” it brings me right back.

Now remember, Rihanna sings the chorus, but Eminem wrote it. That means that the chorus is also from the perspective of an admitted abuser. So let’s try a little experiment. Let’s see how many times we can find the abuser’s trinity in this song:

[Chorus - Rihanna:]
Just gonna stand there and watch me burn
But that’s alright because I like the way it hurts
(Minimizing and Blame: “It’s not really that bad, and besides, she likes it.”)
Just gonna stand there and hear me cry
But that’s alright because I love the way you lie
(Minimizing and Blame)
I love the way you lie
(Minimizing and Blame with emphasis and a catchy hook)

[Eminem]
I can’t tell you what it really is
(Denial: I am intentionally obfuscating how abusive I am.)
I can only tell you what it feels like
(Blame: My uncontrollable feelings caused by other people did it, not me!)
And right now it’s a steel knife in my windpipe
(Blame: My anger! If only I had the ability to express it in a healthy manner. Alas, I am an automaton whose actions are dictated by biologically uncontrollable supertough manliness. Look at my biceps.)
I can’t breathe but I still fight while I can fight
(Blame: While I have no self-awareness on this subject, patriarchal masculinity dictates that I should always be in control, and that I should have no feelings other than anger. Therefore, when I feel vulnerability of any kind in my relationship, I must express it by attempting to gain control over my partner through abusive behavior. This is in fact a complex series of emotions, but I experience them only as rage. I then blame my partner for inciting my rage, despite the fact that it is my own insecurity that created it. I claim to be ashamed of my anger, but actually I am a little proud of it, because it shows how manly and in control I am. Look at my biceps.)
As long as the wrong feels right it’s like I’m in flight
High off of love, drunk from my hate,
(Blame: Anger! Biceps!)
It’s like I’m huffing paint and I love it the more I suffer, I suffocate
And right before I’m about to drown, she resuscitates me
(Cycle of abuse honeymoon crap)
She fucking hates me and I love it.
(Blame: She provokes me.)
Wait! Where you going?
“I’m leaving you”
No you ain’t. Come back we’re running right back.
(Blame: I abuse her because she won’t leave me. She won’t leave me because she enjoys the abuse. Her fear that I might kill her has nothing to do with it.)
Here we go again
(Blame, and interesting pronoun use.)
It’s so insane cause when it’s going good, it’s going great
I’m Superman with the wind at his back, she’s Lois Lane
(Minimizing: But I treat her very well when I am not beating her up.)
But when it’s bad it’s awful, I feel so ashamed I snapped
(Minimizing: I am again not telling you exactly what I did, because if I clearly explained what my abusive actions were, you might say, “Wow, that is messed up.” Plus Blame: I “snapped,” and had no control over my actions.)
Who’s that dude? I don’t even know his name
(Blame with a capital B)
I laid hands on her, I’ll never stoop so low again
(More cycle of abuse honeymoon crap)
I guess I don’t know my own strength
(Minimizing, Denial)

[Chorus - Rihanna:]
(Blame Blame Blame
Blame Blame Blame
Blame.)

[Eminem]
You ever love somebody so much you can barely breathe
When you’re with ‘em
You meet and neither one of you even know what hit ‘em
Got that warm fuzzy feeling
(Look, I got you flowers!)
Yeah, them those chills you used to get ‘em
Now you’re getting fucking sick of looking at ‘em
(This is an abusive statement. It is actual abuse of my partner, in a song about abuse. Meta!)
You swore you’d never hit ‘em; never do nothing to hurt ‘em
Now you’re in each other’s face spewing venom in your words when you spit them
You push pull each other’s hair, scratch claw hit ‘em
(Denial and Blame: The abuse has become a “fight,” in which both partners are equally aggressive. In fact, the majority of abuse does lead to self-defensive violence from victims. This is not the same as a “fight.”)
Throw ‘em down pin ‘em
(Rare moment of honesty)
So lost in the moments when you’re in them
It’s the rage that took over it controls you both
(And we are back to Blame.)
So they say you’re best to go your separate ways
Guess if they don’t know you ’cause today that was yesterday
Yesterday is over, it’s a different day
Sound like broken records playing over but you promised her
Next time you show restraint
You don’t get another chance
Life is no Nintendo game
But you lied again
Now you get to watch her leave out the window
Guess that’s why they call it window pane
(I appear to take responsibility, but instantly return to narcissism rather than true contemplation of the damage I have done to another human being. This reveals that I am again engaging in false contrition/honeymoon behavior rather than expressing meaningful self-awareness.)

[Chorus - Rihanna:]
(Blame. Also, I would like to imply that rape is sometimes enjoyed by the victim without directly making such a reprehensible statement.)

[Eminem]
Now I know we said things, did things that we didn’t mean
(Minimizing and Denial)
And we fall back into the same patterns, same routine
(Blame)
But your temper’s just as bad as mine is
(BLAME!)
You’re the same as me
(BLAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAMMMMMMMMMMMMMME)
But when it comes to love you’re just as blinded
(Blame.)
Baby, please come back
It wasn’t you, baby it was me
(Aren’t the flowers pretty?)
Maybe our relationship isn’t as crazy as it seems
(Minimizing)
Maybe that’s what happens when a tornado meets a volcano
(Minimizing and Blame)
All I know is I love you too much to walk away though
(Veiled threat)
Come inside, pick up your bags off the sidewalk
Don’t you hear sincerity in my voice when I talk
I told you this is my fault
Look me in the eyeball
Next time I’m pissed, I’ll aim my fist at the drywall
Next time. There won’t be no next time
I apologize even though I know its lies
I’m tired of the games I just want her back
I know I’m a liar
If she ever tries to fucking leave again
Im’a tie her to the bed and set this house on fire
I’m just gonna
(Overt threat)

[Chorus - Rihanna:]
(Blame: Considering that a direct threat was just made on the victim’s life, it is interesting that I am ending this song by emphasizing her unwillingness to leave. And by “interesting,” I mean, “blaming the victim.”)

You may also notice that the video has a theme. The theme is: “she started it, I only hit her because of the alcohol, and abuse is very sexy.”

If Eminem were in my group, I’d ask him to start his story again, this time taking responsibility for his actions. Unfortunately, Eminem is not in my group. He is a multi-platinum recording artist who won multiple MTV Video Music Awards tonight. That this implies something important about our culture should be obvious.

Check out the video here...

Fighting Sexual Violence on Your Campus: Why Your School’s Sexual Assault Policy Matters

This guest post was written by Sarah Martino from Students Active for Ending Rape (SAFER).

Making waves can seem intimidating. Although a lot of students recognize the need for change in regards to sexual assault on the campuses, many don’t know where to start, how to make the biggest difference, or don’t consider themselves to be activists and shy away from getting involved. For the past ten years, Students Active for Ending Rape (SAFER) has been making the case for campus sexual assault policy reform as an important and accessible way for students to change how their schools prevent and respond to sexual violence. We work with students to organize policy reform campaigns on their campus, offering them guidance as they attack the issue at the institutional level and make sustainable change that will help future classes of students.

But let’s back up and talk policies—what’s in them, and why do they need to be changed in the first place? All colleges and universities (who receive federal funding) are required by the Clery Act to have a written policy on sexual misconduct that is available to all students. At SAFER we believe that sexual assault policies should be thorough enough that any student could pick one up and know exactly how a school defines consent and sexual assault; what their options would if they wanted to report an incident of sexual assault; what services would be offered to them and how to access them; and how a disciplinary procedure would work if they chose to pursue one/were accused of sexual misconduct.

Not many schools have policies that live up to our list of what makes a better sexual assault policy, however. Consequently, students don’t receive comprehensive sexual assault prevention education; victims of rape and sexual assault are not given the support they need; and disciplinary procedures are handled poorly by untrained staff, lack due process, and students found responsible for rape aren’t appropriately sanctioned. The Center for Public Integrity’s recent report on campus sexual assault highlighted a lot of these issues, with distressing findings.

I’d like to encourage students, at the very least, to find their school’s sexual assault policy—which should be on the school’s website and/or in the student handbook—and see what’s in it. And then I ask that you take the extra step of becoming part of SAFER and V-Day’s Campus Accountability Project (CAP). The CAP asks students to review their school’s policy using our student review form that asks a series of yes/no/and fill-in questions meant to assess the policy’s strengths and weaknesses. Once submitted, your policy analysis will be reviewed by SAFER staff and included in our Campus Sexual Assault Policies Database, a collection of policies from across the country meant to be a resource for student activists and an important tool for holding school’s accountable for supporting their students and keeping them safe. If you are unhappy with your school’s policy, you can check out our Activist Resource Center for more ideas on how to make change or bring a SAFER training to your campus. (Note: to access the database and resource center, you’ll need to register for our website. But it’s free!)

Your school’s sexual assault policy not only governs how sexual assault is dealt with on campus, it is also the only constant guidance on the issue—students graduate, and even though one year there may be a lot of sexual assault related activism, it might not last, and with each new class comes the need for education and discussion. This is why we place so much value on student activism around policy. You have the opportunity to ensure that future classes of students will enter more supportive and responsive environment. Go for it, and let us know if you need help.

3 years later....

This month marks the three year anniversary of GASA's creation at UC Davis!

Since then so many great things have happened and there will be more to come.

Stay tuned...

Surprise 'flash mob' raises sexual violence awareness

Surprise 'flash mob' raises sexual violence awareness

By Melissa Collins

Issue date: 11/13/09 Section: News

Students performed a "flash mob" event Monday night in Linderman Library to raise awareness about sexual violence.

A flash mob is when a group of people carry out an unusual or surprising act that the public is not expecting.

"The point of a flash mob is to draw attention to yourself or to bring an issue into awareness," said Steve Bialick, '10.

Flash mobs usually last a few minutes. However, Monday night's event only lasted 90 seconds.

"We chose that time because every 90 seconds a woman is sexually assaulted," said Kristen Mason, '10.

At exactly 8 p.m., the group collapsed to the ground all at the same time. The students who were studying in the library at the time were generally confused and surprised.

"I didn't really know what was going on," said Nicole Cilcco, '13. "It definitely grabbed people's attention."

Kyle Nagarkar, '12, was also caught off guard.

"I saw it all coming together as a demonstration of some sort, but it caught me by surprise," Nagarkar said. "They handed out papers, and I couldn't help but read it. There was a lot of stuff that I didn't know."

After watching the event take place, Brandon Feil, '10, thought it was successful.

"It was a lot more in your face," Feil said. "It's good that they are bringing it to the attention of the Lehigh community in a more public way."

The flash mob event was organized as a requirement for the new Women's Studies class "Sexual Violence," that is taught by Michelle Issadore, the assistant director of the Women's Center.

"I intended for the class to be a way to talk about sexual violence in an academic setting," Issadore said. "I saw the need for it, and wanted to address that."

The class is offered as an introduction to the Women's Studies program, and it is also a writing intensive optional course. The course addresses a variety of issues, including sexual violence as a gender crime, the media's portrayal of sexual violence, rape culture, rape drugs, rape trauma syndrome, domestic violence, stalking and harassment.

The members of the class were prompted to organize an event in order to promote awareness of sexual violence and chose to do a flash mob because it seemed like it might have a bigger impact on the community.

"We were given an assignment to create an activism project, and we had over 50 volunteers help," Mike Doherty, '10, said.

The group decided a flash mob would be the most effective way to raise awareness.

"It's more of a surprise thing," Bialick said.

"It's to promote awareness because people don't know about it, especially at Lehigh," Mason said.

Issadore said the students were very enthusiastic about the project.

"The students really wanted to raise awareness at Lehigh, make it educational and make an impact," Issadore said.

The students who acted in the flash mob were all wearing shirts that had statistics and other facts about sexual violence. During the flash mob, many students got up to walk around and read the words on the shirts.

"We wore the shirts we made to increase awareness," Katie Johnston, '12, said. "People heard about it and could see it too. We want to start these discussions about sexual violence because it doesn't get discussed, and it needs to."

The students who took part in the flash mob were from more than 10 different student groups and organizations, including the women's rugby team, Theta Chi fraternity, the Panhellenic Council, Break the Silence, Pi Beta Phi sorority and the Association of Student Alumni.

In order to keep the event's details low-key, the original eight members recruited people from their own social groups, amounting to over 55 participants.

"The whole point is to promote awareness of sexual violence, and not just at Lehigh, but all over the world," Bialick said.

http://media.www.thebrownandwhite.com/media/storage/paper1233/news/2009/11/13/News/Surprise.flash.Mob.Raises.Sexual.Violence.Awareness-3830484.shtml

When I saw this article, I couldn't help but think what would happen if every school across the nation took 90 seconds to raise awareness? So many people could be touched and inspired by Lehigh Univeristy's example. This event is such a great example that sexual assault awareness evens do not have to take a lot of time, and you do not even have to invite people ot attend. So step outside the box, and make a difference!