“I believe in pink, I believe that laughing is the best calorie burner. I believe in kissing, kissing a lot. I believe in being strong when everything seems to be going wrong. I believe that happy girls are the prettiest girls. I believe that tomorrow is another day, and I believe in miracles.” — Audrey Hepburn

Here's the interview I had with Chick Speak!

Battling Sexual Assault: Spotlight on Kingsley Grafft, GASA Founder

March 4, 2010 by Lindsay Tigar

She was eighteen and accepted into the college she always wanted to attend. She arrived on campus as a bright-eyed-and-bushy-tailed freshman, ready to embark on a new journey and start a new adult life.

But something was off.

She didn’t fit in. She didn’t feel like she could make friends. She felt alone and trapped. She didn’t like her classes, her roommate was difficult to get along with, and she felt like she had made a huge mistake in choosing a college. In a desperate attempt to make friends, she traveled to a different university nearby to visit a high school friend.

After a few drinks, she joined her friend at a fraternity party where she was greeted with a warm welcome, and more alcohol then she had ever imagined. After guzzling down a few more cheap-labeled beers, making chit-chat and new friends, things started to become hazy. She vaguely remembers being led up a flight of stairs, but her memory goes blank in an instant.

The next morning, she woke up next to a naked man she didn’t know who he was; she was without panties and without a recollection of what happened the night before. With tears and fear both streaming inside and outside her body, she made her way back to her friend’s dorm room. Back to a friend who left her at the party with a man she doesn’t even remember his name.

She would later visit the emergency room without her family’s support, end a relationship with a boyfriend who promised to stand by her side through anything, and switch schools to get away from panic attacks and uncomfortable confrontations.

Her whole life changed in an evening.

What happened to one of my closest friends is not uncommon. In fact, it happens all the time and especially on college campuses. While it’s terribly sad, sexual assault and rape statistics are only growing, and women are primarily the victims.

Efforts to end sexual assault crimes are however, on an upward trend. Organizations like Greeks Against Sexual Assault (GASA) are trying to raise awareness and help women to become more educated on what sexual assault is and how they can prevent it from happening to them or to someone they love.

Kingsley Grafft, founder of GASA, took some time to sit down with ChickSpeak and share some valuable insight into what sexual assault is, how to team up with GASA and how to protect yourself and every chick you know:

ChickSpeak: What is Greeks Against Sexual Assault (GASA)?

Kingsley Grafft: Greeks Against Sexual Assault is a national organization that words towards increasing awareness, educating, and eliminating sexual assault and dating violence from the Greek community through peer education and activism amongst sororities and fraternities.

CS: Where did you come up with idea and inspiration for GASA?

KG: As an intern with the University of California, Davis’ Campus Violence Prevention Program in the spring of 2007 I was given one task: find a way to get sororities and fraternities involved with sexual assault and domestic violence prevention on campus.

One thing led to another and I came up with the idea of GASA as a quarter long class. After doing some research I found that Colorado State University had a similar program and contacted them for more information. In the fall of 2007, GASA was taught for the first time and was a huge success. Things seemed to just spiraled from there and eventually I was able to transform GASA into a national organization with the help of some amazing individuals.

CS: What are the top three things college women should be aware of about sexual assault?

KG: 1. It can happen to anyone and if it happens to you it is never your fault. Be compassionate to the survivors you know.
2. College women are most likely to be assaulted by someone they know.
3. Always look out for your friends. You will never regret or think ‘what if’ after speaking up if you see a potentially dangerous situation.

CS: What is your goal with GASA?

KG: My goal with GASA continues to be to educate and provide resources to as many people as possible. If I can make a positive impact in the life of one other person, then GASA will have been a success.

CS: How can college women become involved with GASA?

KG: If college students are interested in becoming involved with GASA they can visit our website. There they will find our syllabus and curriculum. Also, on our website are a variety of options for how to create GASA on their individual campuses.

CS: How can young women personally raise awareness about sexual assault?

KG: Speak up. Talk about the issue with your friends, talk about what it means to have a healthy relationship. Rape and sexual assault are such depressing issues and too often people avoid bringing them up in conversation.

But, in order to eliminate these problems we have to speak up. Talk to your parents, siblings, classmates, friends, sorority sisters, fraternity brothers, girlfriends, boyfriends, professors, and anyone else who will listen. This issue has impacted so many people on a variety of levels. By speaking about the issue we can work together to raise awareness and come up with innovative prevention techniques.

While speaking up, we can also learn to be excellent listeners. Sometimes people just want someone to listen while they tell their own story. As listeners, it is important to remember that we do not have to have all the answers, but it is our responsibility to help that person find the resources he or she needs.

CS: Where do you see yourself in ten years?

KG: Over the next several years I hope to become a middle school or high school English teacher in California. Eventually I want to get married and have a family of my own. GASA will continue to exist as long as it is making a positive difference and people are benefiting from the organization. Where GASA will go, and how it will continue to grow is still up in the air.

CS: What other organizations do you work with to help with sexual assault awareness?

KG: The members of my Advisory Board are involved with a variety of companies, organizations, and universities. We all work together to promote sexual assault awareness. While I was in middle school and high school, and since I’ve been home from college I’ve been volunteering with STAND! Against Domestic Violence in Northern California.

CS: At ChickSpeak, we’re always looking for new music and movies to fall in love with. What books can’t you put down right now? What’s the last song you downloaded on iTunes?

KG: I love Jodi Picoult books and cannot wait for her new book to be released in March! And I just downloaded Breakeven by The Script.

Lindsay Tigar is the Editor-at-Large for ChickSpeak and hopes every chick will all she can do to raise awareness and protect herself and other chicks against sexual assault.

Guest Post: Lessons from Greek Days

This guest post was written by Spenser Tang-Smith. Spenser is in charge of operations at WebGreek and writes for WebGreek's blog, discussing issues in the Greek community.

This weekend, the WebGreek team participated in not one, but two “good causes.” I’m not telling the world about this because we’re super-mega-awesome and you should love us (although we are and you should). I’m telling the world because I was impressed by how much can get done by a few dedicated volunteers, and how enjoyable it can be.

As Greeks and as college students, we learned that service is a necessary part of belonging to a community. Everyone belongs to a number of different communities, from family to social group to school to geographic region and even up to the global community. No matter which communities one identifies with, it is important that they serve those communities. At some point, everyone has benefited from the actions of others, be it Mom, or the study group, or the fraternity. It is only fair that we help when we can.

On Saturday, we volunteered at the Greater Bay Area Make-a-Wish Foundation’s largest annual fundraising event, Wine and Wishes on Treasure Island. The food and wine tastings were provided by the top restaurants and wineries in the Bay region, showcasing some of the highlights of our amazing local culinary culture. The evening took place in what used to be a Pan Am hangar on what used to be a naval base, and the whole room was transformed into a beautiful hall full of food, wine, and people 18 years old to 80 years old in their celebratory finery.

The amount of work it takes to convert a hangar into a venue to put on this event is staggering, but a handful of industrious helpers were able to clean up the entire place in under an hour. I was particularly impressed by how well-organized the event was, but even more by the sincere desire of every volunteer to make a difference. People assigned to parking helped to empty trashcans; auction helpers cleaned the volunteer area; and everyone helped haul trash and leftover ice out the back door. All the while we had fun doing it, shooting the breeze with other volunteers and playing the “who can throw the trash bag into the dumpster from the farthest away” game.

The lesson here is that fun and service are not mutually exclusive. This was proven again on Sunday, when we helped set up the 1st Annual Jog for Jill to benefit the Bonnie J. Addario Lung Cancer Foundation. It was a beautiful day, and the turnout was fantastic! Over 900 Greeks, parents, friends and children ran, jogged, or walked the course as it wound around UC Berkeley’s campus. The number of people who came out and supported on the weekend was fantastic, and the event has helped raise over $37,000 so far, with many more events scheduled for this year.

We had a great day. We met many of the ladies from KKG, and had a blast schmoozing with our fellow joggers during the leisurely run through campus. The race finished at the Bear’s Lair campus brew pub, where 10% of the proceeds from the after party also benefited the Foundation. Needless to say, it was also fun to help the cause by watching the Super Bowl and eating hot dogs!

There is much that needs to be done, and all it takes is to look around and decide to make a difference. Every little bit helps. For every Martin Luther King Jr., there are thousands of people marching, going door to door, or advocating behind the scenes. Even if you’re not an organizer-type, you still have something to offer: you can paint signs, you can print flyers, you can march and speak and tell your friends. You don’t have to be famous to make a difference.

In many ways, community service is like being an entrepreneur: you must first find a problem to solve, and then you must go about solving it. Kingsley found a way to address the problem of awareness of sexual assault in the Greek system, and GASA now has chapters on several campuses. She’ll tell you it was hard work, but she’ll also tell you that it was more rewarding than it was difficult.

If sexual assault is an issue that speaks to you, then there are plenty of opportunities for yourself or your circle to get involved. April is Sexual Assault Awareness Month, so take a look here to see what opportunities are available for you to volunteer for. This year the theme is preventing sexual assault on higher education campuses…does that sound relevant? One of my close friends became a crisis counselor and has learned valuable skills, as well as having gotten a very poignant look at the human side of this issue.

Fundraisers and office volunteering are also great ways to help. Since the recession, state budgets have been drastically cut (don’t even get me started on California), and as a result, many shelters and counseling centers have had their funding reduced. They need help to be able to keep providing help, and if you can’t contribute money, most organizations can always use a little help around the office.

One thing college students have more than most people is free time. Finding a way to use that free time is easy. All you have to do is ask.

may this new year be a great year.

My grandma forwarded me this email and I am going to try and do more of these this year...

Handbook 2010

Health:
1. Drink plenty of water.
2. Eat breakfast like a king, lunch like a prince and dinner like a beggar.
3. Eat more foods that grow on trees and plants and eat less food that is manufactured in plants.
4. Live with the 3 E's -- Energy, Enthusiasm and Empathy
5. Make time to pray.
6. Play more games
7. Read more books than you did in 2009.
8. Sit in silence for at least 10 minutes each day
9. Sleep for 7 hours.
10. Take a 10-30 minutes walk daily. And while you walk, smile.

Personality:
11. Don't compare your life to others. You have no idea what their journey is all about.
12. Don't have negative thoughts or things you cannot control. Instead invest your energy in the positive present moment.
13. Don't over do. Keep your limits.
14. Don't take yourself so seriously. No one else does.
15. Don't waste your precious energy on gossip.
16. Dream more while you are awake.
17. Envy is a waste of time. You already have all you need.
18. Forget issues of the past. Don't remind your partner with His/her mistakes of the past. That will ruin your present happiness.
19. Life is too short to waste time hating anyone. Don't hate others.
20. Make peace with your past so it won't spoil the present.
21. No one is in charge of your happiness except you.
22. Realize that life is a school and you are here to learn. Problems are simply part of the curriculum that appear and fade away like algebra class but the lessons you learn will last a lifetime.
23. Smile and laugh more.
24. You don't have to win every argument. Agree to disagree...

Society:
25. Call your family often.
26. Each day give something good to others.
27. Forgive everyone for everything..
28. Spend time w/ people over the age of 70 & under the age of 6.
29. Try to make at least three people smile each day.
30. What other people think of you is none of your business.
31. Your job won't take care of you when you are sick. Your friends will. Stay in touch.

Life:
32. Do the right thing!
33. Get rid of anything that isn't useful, beautiful or joyful.
34. GOD heals everything.
35. However good or bad a situation is, it will change.
36. No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up.
37. The best is yet to come.
38. When you awake alive in the morning, thank GOD for it.
39. Your Inner most is always happy. So, be happy.

Last but not the least:
40. Share this with the people you care about.

Guest Post for GreekForMe

Check out the guest post I just wrote for GreekForMe:

Greeks Against Sexual Assault, by Kingsley Grafft

by greekforme on January 21, 2010

We recently had the pleasure of meeting Kingsley Grafft, Founder and National Director of Greeks Against Sexual Assault, and she wrote the following guest blog post for us. Sexual assault on college campuses is quickly becoming an epidemic, and with Kingsley’s passion and dedication to educating others about the issue, we can work to help prevent the growing number of sexual assault victims. Kingsley is an exemplary member of Kappa Alpha Theta, and we know her commitment to helping others will only further her future success!

Greeks Against Sexual Assault, by Kingsley Grafft

Becoming a member of the Greek community on your campus is an amazing opportunity. I know that my four years of college would have been far less exciting and entertaining without my sorority sisters, philanthropy events and fraternity parties. And certainly my wardrobe would have been much smaller without my letters, sweatpants, and t-shirts to accompany every event.

During my sophomore year I interned with University of California at Davis’ Campus Violence Prevention Program (CVPP). When I started, I was given one task: get Greeks involved and educate them about sexual assault and domestic violence.

So I began my research and was shocked at what I found.

• 1 out of 4 college women is sexually assaulted
• 50% of sorority women experience some form of sexual coercion
• 10.3% of college rapes happen in a fraternity house
• 90% of sorority women who are sexually assaulted know their assailants
Sources: Copenhaver & Grauerholz, 1991; Fisher, 2000; Warshaw, 1994.

I really believed that Greeks were simply unaware of these statistics; otherwise, they would be doing something to eliminate the problem and provide support to survivors. So in the spring of 2007 I founded Greeks Against Sexual Assault with the hope that I could pass along the information I had learned, and inspire others to make a difference on their own campuses.

The mission statement is this: Greeks Against Sexual Assault works towards increasing awareness, educating, and eliminating sexual assault and dating violence from the Greek community through peer education and activism amongst sororities and fraternities nationwide.

All it takes is a few Greeks to spread awareness and get their campus involved. I’ve been amazed by the programs Greeks have developed nationally and have seen the positive impact they can have. For more information visit us at www.gasanow.org or check out our blog at http://www.loveyounglove.blogspot.com.

Check out their blog at http://blog.greekforme.com/

What are you doing for others?

Hopefully you got to enjoy having yesterday off from work and/or school. I enjoyed sleeping in, catching up with old friends, and even plowing through some school work. Last week in the class I am student teaching we read an article about Martin Luther King Jr. as we were gearing up for the holiday. The article was from SCOPE magazine which is published by Scholastic and is an amazing resource for helping improve literacy skills. I was struck by this quote on the back cover:
How do we speak up about the things that matter in our lives? What could we all be doing more of?

Yesterday my calendar had the following quote from Martin Luther King Jr: "Life's most persistent and urgent question is, 'What are you doing for others?'"

So I ask you, What are you doing for others? Find what you're passionate about and do that.

New Year, New Look, New Feel...

Happy New Year!

With the start of 2010, I decided it was time for the blog to have a little face-lift along with my twitter site (www.twitter.com/kegrafft).

This year there will be lots more blog posts: mostly written by me, but some of my friends will be making guest appearances as well.

The content will be changing slightly. Although the focus will remain Greeks Against Sexual Assault, sexual assault, domestic violence, and healthy vs. unhealthy relationships, there will be an added personal flair to my writing. Since Greeks Against Sexual Assault is only one of my passions, a few of my others might pop up from time to time as well.

Hope you enjoy...